I think I had a secret death-wish; I wanted to join my Poopsie and get on with the next phase of existence.
I was told a multitude of times that my heart was in a very weakened condition and that there was a very real chance that I would not come through the operation. I ignored all that and went ahead with it anyway. I didn't tell my family what the doctors and technicians were saying.
I had my right hip replaced in April of 2005. The docs thought my heart was too weak that time, too. They kept telling me that there were no guarantees that I would wake up after being put under. I didn’t feel that there would be any problem
They warned me again as they were administering a sedative before going into surgery.
Ø This is how the rest of the tale shaped up.
Ø I was on a stretcher outside of the operating room waiting. I thought about what they had said. I talked to the Creator. “Creator, I don’t think they expect me to live through this operation. I feel that all will be okay, but just in case they are right and I am wrong I think you should let me die while I’m out here, than no one would have a guilty conscience about allowing me to die on their shift. I’m ready to die now Creator.”
Ø The Creator refused me entrance into the next stage of existence.
Ø All those associated with the surgery were in the operating room discussing my best options. The head nurse was sitting beside me. She asked if I had any concerns. I thought about it. Then I related the tales I’d heard about patients coming through their operations with flying colors only to be struck down a week or two later with major infections, or something similar. In all cases it was discovered that those who had carried out the operation had left something foreign inside the patient, causing the infection. I said I wanted everything to be used in the operation counted before and after the completion of the surgery. She pointed at a couple of nurses off to the side and said, “Listen.” The nurses were dutifully counting all implements to be used. I felt much better.
Ø The doc and the guy administering the stuff for pain came over and told me that because of the condition of my heart they thought they should use a spinal tap. They asked my opinion. I told them that I’d never heard anything good about spinal taps. We decided on a spinal tap after much discussion.
Ø I was still sitting on the stretcher-like bench when it was administered.
Ø My right hip had caused me to drag it around, but it was nearly pain-free.
Ø That first needle nearly floored me it hurt so badly, and I can handle a lot of pain.
Ø I nearly passed out. I’d closed my eyes trying to gain control over myself.
Ø I opened my eyes and standing about four feet in front of me was a man about 5 ft. 6 or 8 ins. Tall. He was dressed in a tan colored poncho with a hood. He glided right up in front of me and the pain left.
Ø I thought they said B.C. Medical was having serious financial problems and here they have a sensitive in the operating room. I recall feeling very well looked after.
Ø I leaned my head towards him and the pain left. You big wimp. You can do better than that. I pulled my head back and sat up straight again. He glided back to his original position.
Ø The doctor gave me another prick with a needle and the pain was tremendous. I recall letting my breath out very loudly. The man in the poncho glided forward again, and as I leaned towards him the pain diminished. Again I withdrew – thinking that I was being a cry baby. I was ashamed of myself. I sat up as straight as I could again, and he withdrew.
Ø The doctor gave me another poke and it hurt so much I leaned towards the poncho ed form. He came forward and I leaned my head right into his chest. It seemed like my head just kept going forward until I knew no pain. Each time he’d came close, he said without speaking, that it was alright to release my pain to him. He would look after me. After that I have no knowledge of what transpired.
Ø The second day of recovery one of the nurses came and asked me who I was talking to in the operating room. I told her that I was talking to the sensitive.
Ø She asked, “What’s a sensitive?”
Ø To which I answered, “Why, the person B.C. Med sent in to absorb pain.”
Ø She said there was no such person. So I told her the same thing I have just written above and she said that it had sounded like I was having a conversation with someone. She said that after I spoke, I stopped to listen to someone answering.
Ø I still thought it was a sensitive on the B.C. Med’s payroll until my friend, Lynna came to visit and I related the same tale to her. She said, ‘B.C. Med would never have sense enough to have a sensitive on payroll. It sounds to me like it was a spirit looking out for you.
Ø After I gave it much thought, I had to agree. I guess I didn’t think I was important enough for the Creator to send one of his helpers to look out for me. Thank you, Creator.
So, you understand why so many people were concerned about my having this second operation.
I had put-it-on-the-wind, which is my way of commuting with the Creator when I need a real solid answer.
This second hip was painful all the time, until I went to a Chinese acupuncture person and she made the pain go away. I also worked with a Japanese acupuncture and moxie bustion doctor who performed marvels for me. They strengthened my heart and I lived without pain for four months. I began to think I didn't need to have the surgery. That's when I put-it-on-the-wind. I asked that the Creator let me know in no uncertain terms whether I should undergo the surgery. I even gave a deadline for the answer which was February 21, 2011. One should never ask for something unless they are prepared to live with the outcome. Pain - like I have never experienced before hammered at my body, even my head and my eyes ached. It was horrible, but I knew that I was supposed to have the operation and I had no doubts about it. I knew I would live through it. I had the operation on March 9,2011.
During this operation there were no spirits to help of guide me (at least none that I could see).
Holly Ann stayed with me until it was time to be moved to the operating room. It took from 9:30 AM to 12:30 PM for everything to be brought up to operation standards.
When we were finally in the operating room preparing for the surgery the man handling the medication made reference to the first operation and the difficulty they had in administering the spinal tap. He asked how I felt about it and I told him that I would work with him and it would be alright. There were about 6 people in the operating room. The doctor said we were ready. I said, "Except for one last thing. I talked to the Creator about this operation and that's why I am here. I want to speak to him before we begin." One of the technicians said, "Oh, Mrs. Higgins don't be afraid, you're in good hands." I answered. "I know that. I just want to acknowledge the Creator and thank him for having all the right people here in this room at this moment." They made a loose circle around me and I made my prayer and felt much better for it.
Down at the entrance of the hospital Holly Ann is trying to get permission to sing the Woman's Warrior Song for me. They wouldn't allow it. One of the Volunteers, an East Indian man we've come to recognize over the years was appalled. He said something like this, Oh, this is bad! Her mama, who is a Coast Salish Elder is having an operation and they won't allow her to sing for her. This is their land. It's not right. He went off to the Administrator and came back with him. We don't know what he said, but they allowed Holly Ann to sing the Woman's Warrior Song to give me strength and hope.
So, you see, it takes many people working in all kinds of places to make the right sort of things happen. I know the heavens were bombarded with the prayers and white light that was offered on my behalf. I am humbled. I believe the Creator was pleased with the outcome of that day. What do you think?