Thursday, February 3, 2011

I BELIEVE THAT WE ALL HAVE A DESTINY PART ONE

I wanted to write about canoes, but I feel that I must show you where these thoughts and ideas come from.  Sometimes it takes a long time  until  the pieces of one's life are in the position where the Creator is able to work with us.  Don't misunderstand me.  I'm not saying He couldn't work with us whenever He wanted to, but remember that free will He has bestowed upon every one?  He wants us to make a choice and take responsibility for whatever we do in life.  Well!  Come hell or high water, as the old saying goes, I have long ago learned to make my decisions and to stand by them even when they are extremely unpopular.

Why am I making tracks down this trail?  It's not because I have a great desire to do so. It's because my grandparents and my great grandparents have pointed me in this direction, and it's because I have stopped digging my heels into the ground, fighting against the Creator.  Now, I'm finally ready to give this venture my best shot.   Creator, I surrender!
This is how it all began.


Well, in the year 2002, I thought I was ready to begin fulfilling the destiny I had felt called to since I was less then 10 years old. All of my life I have been gathering knowledge and writing the stories I've felt compelled to write.  Now, I was ready to do something about publishing or . . ."   I spoke out loud, "I'm ready to begin fulfilling my destiny."  I wasn't speaking to anyone in particular, I just needed to say it out loud because then it felt more real to me. In fact, there was nobody around to hear me.  At least that's what I thought.  But, destiny  was listening and began to unfold my future in a way I hadn't visualized.

A local theatre company was in the process of putting on a play about the people of the Coast.  I hadn't heard about it, but one day I received a telephone call from my cousin asking for permission to submit my name to that group of actors.  I thought about it for a couple minutes, remembering,  as an instructor I had 'put on' many plays in schools from here to the NWT.  BUT . . . I hadn't acted in  any of the plays.  Hmmm. I've never done this before.  I'm 72 years old, I guess I can't learn any younger. My decision was made.

I called her back and said I'd like to participate.  In turned out that the play was very near completion ,and I believe someone had dropped out leaving a void, and it was this void they wished me to fill.  Long story short,  I filled the role and everything turned out great.  My part was more story telling then acting.  The audience laughed and cried as they moved through the segments of my life.  At the conclusion of the evening I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a beaded eagle feather from my niece, Linda,  and her daughter,Laurena.  I was touched that they honored me in such a manner. And I thought Well, at least I'm moving in the direction I wanted to travel.

The next day, my husband and I were preparing for a visit to our son who lived in Edmonton. We were all packed up and ready to go when the Creator said, "Wait."  Nothing more, just "wait".  I told my husband that we had to wait for awhile before we could leave.  He wanted to know why and I told him because the Creator said so.  He was okay with that because this had happened numerous times throughout our 49 years of marriage.  We waited and we waited. About thirteen days had passed and we were still waiting.   The Band delivered sockeye salmon so we got right to work and began canning and smoking salmon. 
The next day was very hot.  I was working in the yard when I heard the Dickey Dee Ice Cream Truck coming down the street.  I walked out to flag it down, it pulled over, the driver got out and looked at me.  She didn't say anything.  She turned around and reentered the truck.  She came back out putting on her jacket.  She said, "You're Barb Higgins aren't you?"  I nodded wondering what this was all about.  She said, "I have something for you."  She handed me a note from a person I'd never heard of before that day.   I was reading the note and the driver said, "I've been trying to deliver that note to you for two weeks."  Plink, plink, the pieces began to fall in place.
I telephoned the woman who had written the note. She lived in Vancouver; her name was Lynna.  She said she'd been at the Playhouse and saw my performance and she wanted to work with me.  She was an actress, a director and many other things.  She wasn't in when I called, so I left a message.  I returned to my canning.  I was emptying a large pressure cooker when the telephone rang.  I couldn't answer it so my husband did.  It was the woman.  I told him to tell  her to call back in half an hour.She did.  And because I'm not into bragging, I will leave that portion of the story out.  I have been writing stories for years and I had made up my mind that I wanted to get them published and to make a couple of Cd's. We met and decided to do a couple of story telling performances and to put together a CD of stories.

  We put on a couple story telling sessions in Vancouver at Granville Island and the Firehouse Theatre and we made a story telling CD called CARMEN REMEMBERS. Everything was proceeding just the way I had visualized,  when my husband became ill with cancer.  For the next couple of years my life was a living hell.It is a difficult thing to watch the one your soul is fused to deteriorate and fail.    It is an awful thing to watch the person you have been married to for more then 50 years began to fall apart from an enemy that was so strong and small and  invincible.  There was nothing I could do to save my husband. My own health began to deteriorate as well.  Subconsciously, I was willingly beginning to shut down because Rich and I had always said that we wanted to die at the same time. But, it was not to be.  The Creator did not clear me to proceed onto the next phase of existence.  He expects me to fulfill my destiny. 

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